Divorce: Harder Than You Think

Two people close to me have been on the edge of ending their marriages through divorce. I’ve spoken with one of the two people in particular throughout the process and he took it much harder than I expected him to. He told me last night that he has decided to cancel the divorce proceedings and will go back and try to work it out. While I respect and support his decision, I couldn’t help but wonder what I would do in his situation. Would I stay married under the banner of duty, obligation, and commitment as a husband? Or would I move on, focus on myself and try to one day meet someone else? These are difficult questions. My first reaction is that my decision would be the latter. But as I have seen this person struggle with what he thought to be the “selfish” approach of moving on, it has caused me to reflect on the duties of husbandry and meaning of marriage. With this said, however, I still don’t know what my decision would be in the same situation. If I felt as if my marriage were preventing me somehow from reaching my full potential, I would be inclined to move on. I once read that 90% of one’s happiness or sorrow comes as a direct result from the person you are married to. If that is the truth (and I think it is, even if the percentage is not as high as 90%), then who would stay in a bad marriage? I have no answers, only that this experience has caused me to think about what I would do. Hopefully the decision to stay married or not will be a decision I will never feel forced to make. 


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